She none the less went on writing him love letters, in virtue of the notion that a woman must write to her lover. But whilst she wrote it was another man she saw, a phantom fashioned out of her most ardent memories, of her finest reading, her strongest lusts, and at last he became so real, so tangible, that she palpitated wondering, without, however, the power to imagine him clearly, so lost was he, like a god, beneath the abundance of his attributes. He dwelt in that azure land where silk ladders hang from balconies under the breath of flowers, in the light of the moon. She felt him near her; he was coming, and would carry her right away in a kiss. Then she fell back exhausted, for these transports of vague love wearied her more than great debauchery. She now felt constant ache all over her. Often she even received summonses, stamped paper that she barely looked at. She would have liked not to be alive, or to be always asleep. On Mid-Lent she did not return to Yonville, but in the evening went to a masked ball. She wore velvet breeches, red stockings, a club wig, and three-cornered hat cocked on one side. She danced all night to the wild tones of the trombones; people gathered round her, and in the morning she found herself on the steps of the theatre together with five or six masks, debardeuses* and sailors, Leon’s comrades, who were talking about having supper. * People dressed as longshoremen. The neighbouring cafes were full. They caught sight of one on the harbour, a very indifferent restaurant, whose proprietor showed them to a little room on the fourth floor. The men were whispering in a corner, no doubt consorting about expenses. There were a clerk, two medical students, and a shopman--what company for her! As to the women, Emma soon perceived from the tone of their voices that they must almost belong to the lowest class. Then she was frightened, pushed back her chair, and cast down her eyes. The others began to eat; she ate nothing. Her head was on fire, her eyes smarted, and her skin was ice-cold. In her head she seemed to feel the floor of the ball-room rebounding again beneath the rhythmical pulsation of the thousands of dancing feet. And now the smell of the punch, the smoke of the cigars, made her giddy. She fainted, and they carried her to the window. Day was breaking, and a great stain of purple colour broadened out in the pale horizon over the St. Catherine hills. The livid river was shivering in the wind; there was no one on the bridges; the street lamps were going out. She revived, and began thinking of Berthe asleep yonder in the servant’s room. Then a cart filled with long strips of iron passed by, and made a deafening metallic vibration against the walls of the houses. She slipped away suddenly, threw off her costume, told Leon she must get back, and at last was alone at the Hotel de Boulogne. Everything, even herself, was now unbearable to her. She wished that, taking wing like a bird, she could fly somewhere, far away to regions of purity, and there grow young again. She went out, crossed the Boulevard, the Place Cauchoise, and the Faubourg, as far as an open street that overlooked some gardens. She walked rapidly; the fresh air calming her; and, little by little, the faces of the crowd, the masks, the quadrilles, the lights, the supper, those women, all disappeared like mists fading away. Then, reaching the "Croix-Rouge," she threw herself on the bed in her little room on the second floor, where there were pictures of the "Tour de Nesle." At four o’clock Hivert awoke her. When she got home, Felicite showed her behind the clock a grey paper. She read-- "In virtue of the seizure in execution of a judgment." What judgment? As a matter of fact, the evening before another paper had been brought that she had not yet seen, and she was stunned by these words-- "By order of the king, law, and justice, to Madame Bovary." Then, skipping several lines, she read, "Within twenty-four hours, without fail--" But what? "To pay the sum of eight thousand francs." And there was even at the bottom, "She will be constrained thereto by every form of law, and notably by a writ of distraint on her furniture and effects." What was to be done? In twenty-four hours--tomorrow. Lheureux, she thought, wanted to frighten her again; for she saw through all his devices, the object of his kindnesses. What reassured her was the very magnitude of the sum. However, by dint of buying and not paying, of borrowing, signing bills, and renewing these bills that grew at each new falling-in, she had ended by preparing a capital for Monsieur Lheureux which he was impatiently awaiting for his speculations. She presented herself at his place with an offhand air. "You know what has happened to me? No doubt it’s a joke!" "How so?" He turned away slowly, and, folding his arms, said to her-- "My good lady, did you think I should go on to all eternity being your purveyor and banker, for the love of God? Now be just. I must get back what I’ve laid out. Now be just." She cried out against the debt. "Ah! so much the worse. The court has admitted it. There’s a judgment. It’s been notified to you. Besides, it isn’t my fault. It’s Vincart’s." "Could you not--?" "Oh, nothing whatever." "But still, now talk it over." And she began beating about the bush; she had known nothing about it; it was a surprise. "Whose fault is that?" said Lheureux, bowing ironically. "While I’m slaving like a nigger, you go gallivanting about." "Ah! no lecturing." "It never does any harm," he replied. She turned coward; she implored him; she even pressed her pretty white and slender hand against the shopkeeper’s knee. "There, that’ll do! Anyone’d think you wanted to seduce me!" "You are a wretch!" she cried. "Oh, oh! go it! go it!" "I will show you up. I shall tell my husband." "All right! I too. I’ll show your husband something." And Lheureux drew from his strong box the receipt for eighteen hundred francs that she had given him when Vincart had discounted the bills. "Do you think," he added, "that he’ll not understand your little theft, the poor dear man?" She collapsed, more overcome than if felled by the blow of a pole-axe. He was walking up and down from the window to the bureau, repeating all the while-- "Ah! I’ll show him! I’ll show him!" Then he approached her, and in a soft voice said-- "It isn’t pleasant, I know; but, after all, no bones are broken, and, since that is the only way that is left for you paying back my money--" "But where am I to get any?" said Emma, wringing her hands. "Bah! when one has friends like you!" And he looked at her in so keen, so terrible a fashion, that she shuddered to her very heart. "I promise you," she said, "to sign--" "I’ve enough of your signatures." "I will sell something." "Get along!" he said, shrugging his shoulders; "you’ve not got anything." And he called through the peep-hole that looked down into the shop-- "Annette, don’t forget the three coupons of No. 14." The servant appeared. Emma understood, and asked how much money would be wanted to put a stop to the proceedings. "It is too late." "But if I brought you several thousand francs--a quarter of the sum--a third--perhaps the whole?" "No; it’s no use!" And he pushed her gently towards the staircase. "I implore you, Monsieur Lheureux, just a few days more!" She was sobbing. "There! tears now!" "You are driving me to despair!" "What do I care?" said he, shutting the door. Chapter Seven She was stoical the next day when Maitre Hareng, the bailiff, with two assistants, presented himself at her house to draw up the inventory for the distraint. They began with Bovary’s consulting-room, and did not write down the phrenological head, which was considered an "instrument of his profession"; but in the kitchen they counted the plates; the saucepans, the chairs, the candlesticks, and in the bedroom all the nick-nacks on the whatnot. They examined her dresses, the linen, the dressing-room; and her whole existence to its most intimate details, was, like a corpse on whom a post-mortem is made, outspread before the eyes of these three men. Maitre Hareng, buttoned up in his thin black coat, wearing a white choker and very tight foot-straps, repeated from time to time--"Allow me, madame. You allow me?" Often he uttered exclamations. "Charming! very pretty." Then he began writing again, dipping his pen into the horn inkstand in his left hand. When they had done with the rooms they went up to the attic. She kept a desk there in which Rodolphe’s letters were locked. It had to be opened. "Ah! a correspondence," said Maitre Hareng, with a discreet smile. "But allow me, for I must make sure the box contains nothing else." And he tipped up the papers lightly, as if to shake out napoleons. Then she grew angered to see this coarse hand, with fingers red and pulpy like slugs, touching these pages against which her heart had beaten. They went at last. Felicite came back. Emma had sent her out to watch for Bovary in order to keep him off, and they hurriedly installed the man in possession under the roof, where he swore he would remain. During the evening Charles seemed to her careworn. Emma watched him with a look of anguish, fancying she saw an accusation in every line of his face. Then, when her eyes wandered over the chimney-piece ornamented with Chinese screens, over the large curtains, the armchairs, all those things, in a word, that had, softened the bitterness of her life, remorse seized her or rather an immense regret, that, far from crushing, irritated her passion. Charles placidly poked the fire, both his feet on the fire-dogs. Once the man, no doubt bored in his hiding-place, made a slight noise. "Is anyone walking upstairs?" said Charles. "No," she replied; "it is a window that has been left open, and is rattling in the wind." The next day, Sunday, she went to Rouen to call on all the brokers whose names she knew. They were at their country-places or on journeys. She was not discouraged; and those whom she did manage to see she asked for money, declaring she must have some, and that she would pay it back. Some laughed in her face; all refused. At two o’clock she hurried to Leon, and knocked at the door. No one answered. At length he appeared. "What brings you here?" "Do I disturb you?" "No; but--" And he admitted that his landlord didn’t like his having "women" there. "I must speak to you," she went on. Then he took down the key, but she stopped him. "No, no! Down there, in our home!" And they went to their room at the Hotel de Boulogne. On arriving she drank off a large glass of water. She was very pale. She said to him-- "Leon, you will do me a service?" And, shaking him by both hands that she grasped tightly, she added-- "Listen, I want eight thousand francs." "But you are mad!" "Not yet." And thereupon, telling him the story of the distraint, she explained her distress to him; for Charles knew nothing of it; her mother-in-law detested her; old Rouault could do nothing; but he, Leon, he would set about finding this indispensable sum. "How on earth can I?" "What a coward you are!" she cried. Then he said stupidly, "You are exaggerating the difficulty. Perhaps, with a thousand crowns or so the fellow could be stopped." All the greater reason to try and do something; it was impossible that they could not find three thousand francs. Besides, Leon, could be security instead of her. "Go, try, try! I will love you so!" He went out, and came back at the end of an hour, saying, with solemn face-- "I have been to three people with no success." Then they remained sitting face to face at the two chimney corners, motionless, in silence. Emma shrugged her shoulders as she stamped her feet. He heard her murmuring-- "If I were in your place _I_ should soon get some." "But where?" "At your office." And she looked at him. An infernal boldness looked out from her burning eyes, and their lids drew close together with a lascivious and encouraging look, so that the young man felt himself growing weak beneath the mute will of this woman who was urging him to a crime. Then he was afraid, and to avoid any explanation he smote his forehead, crying-- "Morel is to come back to-night; he will not refuse me, I hope" (this was one of his friends, the son of a very rich merchant); "and I will bring it you to-morrow," he added. Emma did not seem to welcome this hope with all the joy he had expected. Did she suspect the lie? He went on, blushing-- "However, if you don’t see me by three o’clock do not wait for me, my darling. I must be off now; forgive me! Goodbye!" He pressed her hand, but it felt quite lifeless. Emma had no strength left for any sentiment. Four o’clock struck, and she rose to return to Yonville, mechanically obeying the force of old habits. The weather was fine. It was one of those March days, clear and sharp, when the sun shines in a perfectly white sky. The Rouen folk, in Sunday-clothes, were walking about with happy looks. She reached the Place du Parvis. People were coming out after vespers; the crowd flowed out through the three doors like a stream through the three arches of a bridge, and in the middle one, more motionless than a rock, stood the beadle. Then she remembered the day when, all anxious and full of hope, she had entered beneath this large nave, that had opened out before her, less profound than her love; and she walked on weeping beneath her veil, giddy, staggering, almost fainting. "Take care!" cried a voice issuing from the gate of a courtyard that was thrown open. She stopped to let pass a black horse, pawing the ground between the shafts of a tilbury, driven by a gentleman in sable furs. Who was it? She knew him. The carriage darted by and disappeared. Why, it was he--the Viscount. She turned away; the street was empty. She was so overwhelmed, so sad, that she had to lean against a wall to keep herself from falling. Then she thought she had been mistaken. Anyhow, she did not know. All within her and around her was abandoning her. She felt lost, sinking at random into indefinable abysses, and it was almost with joy that, on reaching the "Croix-Rouge," she saw the good Homais, who was watching a large box full of pharmaceutical stores being hoisted on to the "Hirondelle." In his hand he held tied in a silk handkerchief six cheminots for his wife. Madame Homais was very fond of these small, heavy turban-shaped loaves, that are eaten in Lent with salt butter; a last vestige of Gothic food that goes back, perhaps, to the time of the Crusades, and with which the robust Normans gorged themselves of yore, fancying they saw on the table, in the light of the yellow torches, between tankards of hippocras and huge boars’ heads, the heads of Saracens to be devoured. The druggist’s wife crunched them up as they had done--heroically, despite her wretched teeth. And so whenever Homais journeyed to town, he never failed to bring her home some that he bought at the great baker’s in the Rue Massacre. "Charmed to see you," he said, offering Emma a hand to help her into the "Hirondelle." Then he hung up his cheminots to the cords of the netting, and remained bare-headed in an attitude pensive and Napoleonic. But when the blind man appeared as usual at the foot of the hill he exclaimed-- "I can’t understand why the authorities tolerate such culpable industries. Such unfortunates should be locked up and forced to work. Progress, my word! creeps at a snail’s pace. We are floundering about in mere barbarism." The blind man held out his hat, that flapped about at the door, as if it were a bag in the lining that had come unnailed. "This," said the chemist, "is a scrofulous affection." And though he knew the poor devil, he pretended to see him for the first time, murmured something about "cornea," "opaque cornea," "sclerotic," "facies," then asked him in a paternal tone-- "My friend, have you long had this terrible infirmity? Instead of getting drunk at the public, you’d do better to die yourself." He advised him to take good wine, good beer, and good joints. The blind man went on with his song; he seemed, moreover, almost idiotic. At last Monsieur Homais opened his purse-- "Now there’s a sou; give me back two lairds, and don’t forget my advice: you’ll be the better for it." Hivert openly cast some doubt on the efficacy of it. But the druggist said that he would cure himself with an antiphlogistic pomade of his own composition, and he gave his address--"Monsieur Homais, near the market, pretty well known." "Now," said Hivert, "for all this trouble you’ll give us your performance." The blind man sank down on his haunches, with his head thrown back, whilst he rolled his greenish eyes, lolled out his tongue, and rubbed his stomach with both hands as he uttered a kind of hollow yell like a famished dog. Emma, filled with disgust, threw him over her shoulder a five-franc piece. It was all her fortune. It seemed to her very fine thus to throw it away. The coach had gone on again when suddenly Monsieur Homais leant out through the window, crying-- "No farinaceous or milk food, wear wool next the skin, and expose the diseased parts to the smoke of juniper berries." The sight of the well-known objects that defiled before her eyes gradually diverted Emma from her present trouble. An intolerable fatigue overwhelmed her, and she reached her home stupefied, discouraged, almost asleep. "Come what may come!" she said to herself. "And then, who knows? Why, at any moment could not some extraordinary event occur? Lheureux even might die!" At nine o’clock in the morning she was awakened by the sound of voices in the Place. There was a crowd round the market reading a large bill fixed to one of the posts, and she saw Justin, who was climbing on to a stone and tearing down the bill. But at this moment the rural guard seized him by the collar. Monsieur Homais came out of his shop, and Mere Lefrangois, in the midst of the crowd, seemed to be perorating. "Madame! madame!" cried Felicite, running in, "it’s abominable!" And the poor girl, deeply moved, handed her a yellow paper that she had just torn off the door. Emma read with a glance that all her furniture was for sale. Then they looked at one another silently. The servant and mistress had no secret one from the other. At last Felicite sighed-- "If I were you, madame, I should go to Monsieur Guillaumin." "Do you think--" And this question meant to say-- "You who know the house through the servant, has the master spoken sometimes of me?" "Yes, you’d do well to go there." She dressed, put on her black gown, and her hood with jet beads, and that she might not be seen (there was still a crowd on the Place), she took the path by the river, outside the village. She reached the notary’s gate quite breathless. The sky was sombre, and a little snow was falling. At the sound of the bell, Theodore in a red waistcoat appeared on the steps; he came to open the door almost familiarly, as to an acquaintance, and showed her into the dining-room. A large porcelain stove crackled beneath a cactus that filled up the niche in the wall, and in black wood frames against the oak-stained paper hung Steuben’s "Esmeralda" and Schopin’s "Potiphar." The ready-laid table, the two silver chafing-dishes, the crystal door-knobs, the parquet and the furniture, all shone with a scrupulous, English cleanliness; the windows were ornamented at each corner with stained glass. "Now this," thought Emma, "is the dining-room I ought to have." The notary came in pressing his palm-leaf dressing-gown to his breast with his left arm, while with the other hand he raised and quickly put on again his brown velvet cap, pretentiously cocked on the right side, whence looked out the ends of three fair curls drawn from the back of the head, following the line of his bald skull. After he had offered her a seat he sat down to breakfast, apologising profusely for his rudeness. "I have come," she said, "to beg you, sir--" "What, madame? I am listening." And she began explaining her position to him. Monsieur Guillaumin knew it, being secretly associated with the linendraper, from whom he always got capital for the loans on mortgages that he was asked to make. So he knew (and better than she herself) the long story of the bills, small at first, bearing different names as endorsers, made out at long dates, and constantly renewed up to the day, when, gathering together all the protested bills, the shopkeeper had bidden his friend Vincart take in his own name all the necessary proceedings, not wishing to pass for a tiger with his fellow-citizens. She mingled her story with recriminations against Lheureux, to which the notary replied from time to time with some insignificant word. Eating his cutlet and drinking his tea, he buried his chin in his sky-blue cravat, into which were thrust two diamond pins, held together by a small gold chain; and he smiled a singular smile, in a sugary, ambiguous fashion. But noticing that her feet were damp, he said-- "Do get closer to the stove; put your feet up against the porcelain." She was afraid of dirtying it. The notary replied in a gallant tone-- "Beautiful things spoil nothing." Then she tried to move him, and, growing moved herself, she began telling him about the poorness of her home, her worries, her wants. He could understand that; an elegant woman! and, without leaving off eating, he had turned completely round towards her, so that his knee brushed against her boot, whose sole curled round as it smoked against the stove. But when she asked for a thousand sous, he closed his lips, and declared he was very sorry he had not had the management of her fortune before, for there were hundreds of ways very convenient, even for a lady, of turning her money to account. They might, either in the turf-peats of Grumesnil or building-ground at Havre, almost without risk, have ventured on some excellent speculations; and he let her consume herself with rage at the thought of the fabulous sums that she would certainly have made. "How was it," he went on, "that you didn’t come to me?" "I hardly know," she said. "Why, hey? Did I frighten you so much? It is I, on the contrary, who ought to complain. We hardly know one another; yet I am very devoted to you. You do not doubt that, I hope?" He held out his hand, took hers, covered it with a greedy kiss, then held it on his knee; and he played delicately with her fingers whilst he murmured a thousand blandishments. His insipid voice murmured like a running brook; a light shone in his eyes through the glimmering of his spectacles, and his hand was advancing up Emma’s sleeve to press her arm. She felt against her cheek his panting breath. This man oppressed her horribly. She sprang up and said to him-- "Sir, I am waiting." "For what?" said the notary, who suddenly became very pale. "This money." "But--" Then, yielding to the outburst of too powerful a desire, "Well, yes!" He dragged himself towards her on his knees, regardless of his dressing-gown. "For pity’s sake, stay. I love you!" He seized her by her waist. Madame Bovary’s face flushed purple. She recoiled with a terrible look, crying-- "You are taking a shameless advantage of my distress, sir! I am to be pitied--not to be sold." And she went out. The notary remained quite stupefied, his eyes fixed on his fine embroidered slippers. They were a love gift, and the sight of them at last consoled him. Besides, he reflected that such an adventure might have carried him too far. "What a wretch! what a scoundrel! what an infamy!" she said to herself, as she fled with nervous steps beneath the aspens of the path. The disappointment of her failure increased the indignation of her outraged modesty; it seemed to her that Providence pursued her implacably, and, strengthening herself in her pride, she had never felt so much esteem for herself nor so much contempt for others. A spirit of warfare transformed her. She would have liked to strike all men, to spit in their faces, to crush them, and she walked rapidly straight on, pale, quivering, maddened, searching the empty horizon with tear-dimmed eyes, and as it were rejoicing in the hate that was choking her. When she saw her house a numbness came over her. She could not go on; and yet she must. Besides, whither could she flee? Felicite was waiting for her at the door. "Well?" "No!" said Emma. And for a quarter of an hour the two of them went over the various persons in Yonville who might perhaps be inclined to help her. But each time that Felicite named someone Emma replied-- "Impossible! they will not!" "And the master’ll soon be in." "I know that well enough. Leave me alone." She had tried everything; there was nothing more to be done now; and when Charles came in she would have to say to him-- "Go away! This carpet on which you are walking is no longer ours. In your own house you do not possess a chair, a pin, a straw, and it is I, poor man, who have ruined you." Then there would be a great sob; next he would weep abundantly, and at last, the surprise past, he would forgive her. "Yes," she murmured, grinding her teeth, "he will forgive me, he who would give a million if I would forgive him for having known me! Never! never!" This thought of Bovary’s superiority to her exasperated her. Then, whether she confessed or did not confess, presently, immediately, to-morrow, he would know the catastrophe all the same; so she must wait for this horrible scene, and bear the weight of his magnanimity. The desire to return to Lheureux’s seized her--what would be the use? To write to her father--it was too late; and perhaps, she began to repent now that she had not yielded to that other, when she heard the trot of a horse in the alley. It was he; he was opening the gate; he was whiter than the plaster wall. Rushing to the stairs, she ran out quickly to the square; and the wife of the mayor, who was talking to Lestiboudois in front of the church, saw her go in to the tax-collector’s. She hurried off to tell Madame Caron, and the two ladies went up to the attic, and, hidden by some linen spread across props, stationed themselves comfortably for overlooking the whole of Binet’s room. He was alone in his garret, busy imitating in wood one of those indescribable bits of ivory, composed of crescents, of spheres hollowed out one within the other, the whole as straight as an obelisk, and of no use whatever; and he was beginning on the last piece--he was nearing his goal. In the twilight of the workshop the white dust was flying from his tools like a shower of sparks under the hoofs of a galloping horse; the two wheels were turning, droning; Binet smiled, his chin lowered, his nostrils distended, and, in a word, seemed lost in one of those complete happinesses that, no doubt, belong only to commonplace occupations, which amuse the mind with facile difficulties, and satisfy by a realisation of that beyond which such minds have not a dream. "Ah! there she is!" exclaimed Madame Tuvache. But it was impossible because of the lathe to hear what she was saying. At last these ladies thought they made out the word "francs," and Madame Tuvache whispered in a low voice-- "She is begging him to give her time for paying her taxes." "Apparently!" replied the other. They saw her walking up and down, examining the napkin-rings, the candlesticks, the banister rails against the walls, while Binet stroked his beard with satisfaction. "Do you think she wants to order something of him?" said Madame Tuvache. "Why, he doesn’t sell anything," objected her neighbour. The tax-collector seemed to be listening with wide-open eyes, as if he did not understand. She went on in a tender, suppliant manner. She came nearer to him, her breast heaving; they no longer spoke. "Is she making him advances?" said Madame Tuvache. Binet was scarlet to his very ears. She took hold of his hands. "Oh, it’s too much!" And no doubt she was suggesting something abominable to him; for the tax-collector--yet he was brave, had fought at Bautzen and at Lutzen, had been through the French campaign, and had even been recommended for the cross--suddenly, as at the sight of a serpent, recoiled as far as he could from her, crying-- "Madame! what do you mean?" "Women like that ought to be whipped," said Madame Tuvache. "But where is she?" continued Madame Caron, for she had disappeared whilst they spoke; then catching sight of her going up the Grande Rue, and turning to the right as if making for the cemetery, they were lost in conjectures. "Nurse Rollet," she said on reaching the nurse’s, "I am choking; unlace me!" She fell on the bed sobbing. Nurse Rollet covered her with a petticoat and remained standing by her side. Then, as she did not answer, the good woman withdrew, took her wheel and began spinning flax. "Oh, leave off!" she murmured, fancying she heard Binet’s lathe. "What’s bothering her?" said the nurse to herself. "Why has she come here?" She had rushed thither; impelled by a kind of horror that drove her from her home. Lying on her back, motionless, and with staring eyes, she saw things but vaguely, although she tried to with idiotic persistence. She looked at the scales on the walls, two brands smoking end to end, and a long spider crawling over her head in a rent in the beam. At last she began to collect her thoughts. She remembered--one day--Leon--Oh! how long ago that was--the sun was shining on the river, and the clematis were perfuming the air. Then, carried away as by a rushing torrent, she soon began to recall the day before. "What time is it?" she asked. Mere Rollet went out, raised the fingers of her right hand to that side of the sky that was brightest, and came back slowly, saying-- "Nearly three." "Ah! thanks, thanks!" For he would come; he would have found some money. But he would, perhaps, go down yonder, not guessing she was here, and she told the nurse to run to her house to fetch him. "Be quick!" "But, my dear lady, I’m going, I’m going!" She wondered now that she had not thought of him from the first. Yesterday he had given his word; he would not break it. And she already saw herself at Lheureux’s spreading out her three bank-notes on his bureau. Then she would have to invent some story to explain matters to Bovary. What should it be? The nurse, however, was a long while gone. But, as there was no clock in the cot, Emma feared she was perhaps exaggerating the length of time. She began walking round the garden, step by step; she went into the path by the hedge, and returned quickly, hoping that the woman would have come back by another road. At last, weary of waiting, assailed by fears that she thrust from her, no longer conscious whether she had been here a century or a moment, she sat down in a corner, closed her eyes, and stopped her ears. The gate grated; she sprang up. Before she had spoken Mere Rollet said to her-- "There is no one at your house!" "What?" "Oh, no one! And the doctor is crying. He is calling for you; they’re looking for you." Emma answered nothing. She gasped as she turned her eyes about her, while the peasant woman, frightened at her face, drew back instinctively, thinking her mad. Suddenly she struck her brow and uttered a cry; for the thought of Rodolphe, like a flash of lightning in a dark night, had passed into her soul. He was so good, so delicate, so generous! And besides, should he hesitate to do her this service, she would know well enough how to constrain him to it by re-waking, in a single moment, their lost love. So she set out towards La Huchette, not seeing that she was hastening to offer herself to that which but a while ago had so angered her, not in the least conscious of her prostitution. Chapter Eight She asked herself as she walked along, "What am I going to say? How shall I begin?" And as she went on she recognised the thickets, the trees, the sea-rushes on the hill, the chateau yonder. All the sensations of her first tenderness came back to her, and her poor aching heart opened out amorously. A warm wind blew in her face; the melting snow fell drop by drop from the buds to the grass. She entered, as she used to, through the small park-gate. She reached the avenue bordered by a double row of dense lime-trees. They were swaying their long whispering branches to and fro. The dogs in their kennels all barked, and the noise of their voices resounded, but brought out no one. She went up the large straight staircase with wooden balusters that led to the corridor paved with dusty flags, into which several doors in a row opened, as in a monastery or an inn. His was at the top, right at the end, on the left. When she placed her fingers on the lock her strength suddenly deserted her. She was afraid, almost wished he would not be there, though this was her only hope, her last chance of salvation. She collected her thoughts for one moment, and, strengthening herself by the feeling of present necessity, went in. He was in front of the fire, both his feet on the mantelpiece, smoking a pipe. "What! it is you!" he said, getting up hurriedly. "Yes, it is I, Rodolphe. I should like to ask your advice." And, despite all her efforts, it was impossible for her to open her lips. "You have not changed; you are charming as ever!" "Oh," she replied bitterly, "they are poor charms since you disdained them." Then he began a long explanation of his conduct, excusing himself in vague terms, in default of being able to invent better. She yielded to his words, still more to his voice and the sight of him, so that, she pretended to believe, or perhaps believed; in the pretext he gave for their rupture; this was a secret on which depended the honour, the very life of a third person. "No matter!" she said, looking at him sadly. "I have suffered much." He replied philosophically-- "Such is life!" "Has life," Emma went on, "been good to you at least, since our separation?" "Oh, neither good nor bad." "Perhaps it would have been better never to have parted." "Yes, perhaps." "You think so?" she said, drawing nearer, and she sighed. "Oh, Rodolphe! if you but knew! I loved you so!" It was then that she took his hand, and they remained some time, their fingers intertwined, like that first day at the Show. With a gesture of pride he struggled against this emotion. But sinking upon his breast she said to him-- "How did you think I could live without you? One cannot lose the habit of happiness. I was desolate. I thought I should die. I will tell you about all that and you will see. And you--you fled from me!" For, all the three years, he had carefully avoided her in consequence of that natural cowardice that characterises the stronger sex. Emma went on, with dainty little nods, more coaxing than an amorous kitten-- "You love others, confess it! Oh, I understand them, dear! I excuse them. You probably seduced them as you seduced me. You are indeed a man; you have everything to make one love you. But we’ll begin again, won’t we? We will love one another. See! I am laughing; I am happy! Oh, speak!" And she was charming to see, with her eyes, in which trembled a tear, like the rain of a storm in a blue corolla. He had drawn her upon his knees, and with the back of his hand was caressing her smooth hair, where in the twilight was mirrored like a golden arrow one last ray of the sun. She bent down her brow; at last he kissed her on the eyelids quite gently with the tips of his lips. "Why, you have been crying! What for?" She burst into tears. Rodolphe thought this was an outburst of her love. As she did not speak, he took this silence for a last remnant of resistance, and then he cried out-- "Oh, forgive me! You are the only one who pleases me. I was imbecile and cruel. I love you. I will love you always. What is it. Tell me!" He was kneeling by her. "Well, I am ruined, Rodolphe! You must lend me three thousand francs." "But--but--" said he, getting up slowly, while his face assumed a grave expression. "You know," she went on quickly, "that my husband had placed his whole fortune at a notary’s. He ran away. So we borrowed; the patients don’t pay us. Moreover, the settling of the estate is not yet done; we shall have the money later on. But to-day, for want of three thousand francs, we are to be sold up. It is to be at once, this very moment, and, counting upon your friendship, I have come to you." "Ah!" thought Rodolphe, turning very pale, "that was what she came for." At last he said with a calm air-- "Dear madame, I have not got them." He did not lie. If he had had them, he would, no doubt, have given them, although it is generally disagreeable to do such fine things: a demand for money being, of all the winds that blow upon love, the coldest and most destructive. First she looked at him for some moments. "You have not got them!" she repeated several times. "You have not got them! I ought to have spared myself this last shame. You never loved me. You are no better than the others." She was betraying, ruining herself. Rodolphe interrupted her, declaring he was "hard up" himself. "Ah! I pity you," said Emma. "Yes--very much." And fixing her eyes upon an embossed carabine, that shone against its panoply, "But when one is so poor one doesn’t have silver on the butt of one’s gun. One doesn’t buy a clock inlaid with tortoise shell," she went on, pointing to a buhl timepiece, "nor silver-gilt whistles for one’s whips," and she touched them, "nor charms for one’s watch. Oh, he wants for nothing! even to a liqueur-stand in his room! For you love yourself; you live well. You have a chateau, farms, woods; you go hunting; you travel to Paris. Why, if it were but that," she cried, taking up two studs from the mantelpiece, "but the least of these trifles, one can get money for them. Oh, I do not want them, keep them!" And she threw the two links away from her, their gold chain breaking as it struck against the wall. "But I! I would have given you everything. I would have sold all, worked for you with my hands, I would have begged on the highroads for a smile, for a look, to hear you say ‘Thanks!’ And you sit there quietly in your arm-chair, as if you had not made me suffer enough already! But for you, and you know it, I might have lived happily. What made you do it? Was it a bet? Yet you loved me--you said so. And but a moment since--Ah! it would have been better to have driven me away. My hands are hot with your kisses, and there is the spot on the carpet where at my knees you swore an eternity of love! You made me believe you; for two years you held me in the most magnificent, the sweetest dream! Eh! Our plans for the journey, do you remember? Oh, your letter! your letter! it tore my heart! And then when I come back to him--to him, rich, happy, free--to implore the help the first stranger would give, a suppliant, and bringing back to him all my tenderness, he repulses me because it would cost him three thousand francs!" "I haven’t got them," replied Rodolphe, with that perfect calm with which resigned rage covers itself as with a shield. She went out. The walls trembled, the ceiling was crushing her, and she passed back through the long alley, stumbling against the heaps of dead leaves scattered by the wind. At last she reached the ha-ha hedge in front of the gate; she broke her nails against the lock in her haste to open it. Then a hundred steps farther on, breathless, almost falling, she stopped. And now turning round, she once more saw the impassive chateau, with the park, the gardens, the three courts, and all the windows of the facade. She remained lost in stupor, and having no more consciousness of herself than through the beating of her arteries, that she seemed to hear bursting forth like a deafening music filling all the fields. The earth beneath her feet was more yielding than the sea, and the furrows seemed to her immense brown waves breaking into foam. Everything in her head, of memories, ideas, went off at once like a thousand pieces of fireworks. She saw her father, Lheureux’s closet, their room at home, another landscape. Madness was coming upon her; she grew afraid, and managed to recover herself, in a confused way, it is true, for she did not in the least remember the cause of the terrible condition she was in, that is to say, the question of money. She suffered only in her love, and felt her soul passing from her in this memory; as wounded men, dying, feel their life ebb from their bleeding wounds. Night was falling, crows were flying about. Suddenly it seemed to her that fiery spheres were exploding in the air like fulminating balls when they strike, and were whirling, whirling, to melt at last upon the snow between the branches of the trees. In the midst of each of them appeared the face of Rodolphe. They multiplied and drew near her, penetrating, her. It all disappeared; she recognised the lights of the houses that shone through the fog. Now her situation, like an abyss, rose up before her. She was panting as if her heart would burst. Then in an ecstasy of heroism, that made her almost joyous, she ran down the hill, crossed the cow-plank, the foot-path, the alley, the market, and reached the chemist’s shop. She was about to enter, but at the sound of the bell someone might come, and slipping in by the gate, holding her breath, feeling her way along the walls, she went as far as the door of the kitchen, where a candle stuck on the stove was burning. Justin in his shirt-sleeves was carrying out a dish. "Ah! they are dining; I will wait." He returned; she tapped at the window. He went out. "The key! the one for upstairs where he keeps the--" "What?" 1 , 2 . 3 4 , 5 , , 6 , , , 7 , , , , 8 , , . 9 10 , . ; 11 , . 12 13 , 14 . 15 16 . 17 , . 18 , . 19 20 - , 21 . , , , 22 - . 23 ; , 24 25 , * , , 26 . 27 28 * . 29 30 31 . 32 , , 33 . 34 35 , . 36 , , - - 37 ! , 38 . 39 , , . 40 41 ; . , 42 , - . 43 - 44 . , 45 , . , 46 . 47 48 , 49 . . 50 ; ; 51 . 52 53 , 54 . , 55 . 56 57 , , 58 , . , 59 , . , 60 , , , 61 . 62 63 , , , 64 , . 65 ; ; , , 66 , , , , , 67 , . , 68 " - , " 69 , " . " 70 . 71 72 , . 73 - - 74 75 " . " 76 77 ? , 78 , 79 - - 80 81 " , , , . " , 82 , , " - , 83 - - " ? " . " 84 , " 85 , 86 . " 87 88 ? - - - . , 89 , ; 90 , . 91 . 92 93 , , , , 94 - , 95 96 . 97 98 . 99 100 " ? ! " 101 102 " ? " 103 104 , , , - - 105 106 " , 107 , ? . 108 . . " 109 110 . 111 112 " ! . . . 113 . , . . " 114 115 " - - ? " 116 117 " , . " 118 119 " , . " 120 121 ; ; 122 . 123 124 " ? " , . " 125 , . " 126 127 " ! . " 128 129 " , " . 130 131 ; ; 132 . 133 134 " , ! ! " 135 136 " ! " . 137 138 " , ! ! ! " 139 140 " . . " 141 142 " ! . . " 143 144 145 . 146 147 " , " , " , 148 ? " 149 150 , - . 151 , 152 - - 153 154 " ! ! ! " , 155 - - 156 157 " , ; , , , , 158 - - " 159 160 " ? " , . 161 162 " ! ! " 163 164 , , 165 . 166 167 " , " , " - - " 168 169 " . " 170 171 " . " 172 173 " ! " , ; " 174 . " 175 176 - - - 177 178 " , . . " 179 180 . , 181 . 182 183 " . " 184 185 " - - - - 186 - - ? " 187 188 " ; ! " 189 190 . 191 192 " , , ! " 193 . 194 195 " ! ! " 196 197 " ! " 198 199 " ? " , . 200 201 202 203 204 205 , , 206 , 207 . 208 209 - , 210 , " 211 " ; ; , 212 , , - 213 . , , - ; 214 , , 215 - , 216 . 217 218 , , 219 - , - - " 220 , . ? " . " ! 221 . " , 222 . 223 224 . 225 . . 226 227 " ! , " , . " 228 , . " 229 , . 230 , 231 , . 232 233 . . 234 , 235 , . 236 237 . 238 , 239 . , - 240 , , , 241 , , , , 242 , , , 243 . , 244 - . 245 246 , - , . 247 248 " ? " . 249 250 " , " ; " , 251 . " 252 253 , , 254 . - . 255 ; 256 , , . 257 ; . 258 259 , . 260 . . 261 262 " ? " 263 264 " ? " 265 266 " ; - - " 267 " " . 268 269 " , " . 270 271 , . 272 273 " , ! , ! " 274 275 . 276 277 . . 278 - - 279 280 " , ? " 281 282 , , - - 283 284 " , . " 285 286 " ! " 287 288 " . " 289 290 , , 291 ; ; - - 292 ; ; , , 293 . 294 295 " ? " 296 297 " ! " . 298 299 , " . , 300 . " 301 302 ; 303 . , , 304 . 305 306 " , , ! ! " 307 308 , , , 309 - - 310 311 " . " 312 313 , 314 , . 315 . - - 316 317 " . " 318 319 " ? " 320 321 " . " . 322 323 , 324 , 325 326 . , 327 , - - 328 329 " - ; , " ( 330 , ) ; " 331 - , " . 332 333 . 334 ? , - - 335 336 " , , 337 . ; ! ! " 338 339 , . 340 . 341 342 , , 343 . 344 345 . , , 346 . , 347 - , . 348 . ; 349 350 , , , 351 . 352 353 , , 354 , , 355 ; , 356 , , . 357 358 " ! " 359 . 360 361 , 362 , . ? 363 . . 364 365 , - - . ; . 366 , , 367 . 368 369 . , . 370 . , 371 , , 372 " - , " , 373 374 " . " 375 . 376 377 , - , 378 ; 379 , , , 380 , 381 , , 382 , . 383 - - , 384 . , 385 386 . 387 388 " , " , 389 " . " , 390 - . 391 392 393 - - 394 395 " 396 . . 397 , ! . 398 . " 399 400 , , 401 . 402 403 " , " , " . " 404 405 , 406 , " , " " , " " , " 407 " , " - - 408 409 " , ? 410 , . " 411 412 , , . 413 ; , , . 414 - - 415 416 " ; , : 417 . " 418 419 . 420 421 , - - " , , 422 . " 423 424 " , " , " 425 . " 426 427 , , 428 , , 429 430 . , , 431 - . . 432 . 433 434 435 , - - 436 437 " , , 438 . " 439 440 - 441 . 442 , , , 443 . 444 445 " ! " . " , ? , 446 ? 447 ! " 448 449 450 . 451 , , 452 . 453 . , 454 , , . 455 456 " ! ! " , , " ! " 457 458 , , 459 . 460 . 461 462 . 463 . - - 464 465 " , , . " 466 467 " - - " 468 469 - - 470 471 " , 472 ? " 473 474 " , . " 475 476 , , , 477 ( ) , 478 , . 479 480 . , 481 . , 482 ; 483 , , - . 484 485 486 , - 487 " " " . " 488 - , - , - , 489 , , 490 ; 491 . 492 493 " , " , " - . " 494 495 - - 496 , 497 , , 498 499 , . 500 501 , 502 . 503 504 " , " , " , - - " 505 506 " , ? . " 507 508 . 509 , , 510 . 511 512 ( ) , 513 , , 514 , , , 515 , 516 , 517 - . 518 519 , 520 . 521 , - 522 , , 523 ; , , 524 . , - - 525 526 " ; . " 527 528 . - - 529 530 " . " 531 532 , , , 533 , , . 534 ; ! , 535 , , 536 , 537 . 538 539 , , 540 , 541 , , 542 . , - 543 - , , 544 ; 545 546 . 547 548 " , " , " ? " 549 550 " , " . 551 552 " , ? ? , , 553 . ; 554 . , ? " 555 556 , , , 557 ; 558 . 559 ; 560 , 561 . . 562 . 563 564 - - 565 566 " , . " 567 568 " ? " , . 569 570 " . " 571 572 " - - " , , " , 573 ! " 574 575 , 576 - . 577 578 " , . ! " 579 580 . . 581 , - - 582 583 " , ! 584 - - . " 585 586 . 587 588 , 589 . , 590 . , 591 . 592 593 " ! ! ! " , 594 . 595 596 ; , , 597 , 598 . 599 . , 600 , , , , 601 , , - , 602 . 603 604 . ; 605 . , ? 606 607 . " ? " 608 609 " ! " . 610 611 612 . 613 - - 614 615 " ! ! " 616 617 " . " 618 619 " . . " 620 621 ; ; 622 - - 623 624 " ! . 625 , , , , 626 , . " 627 628 ; , 629 , , . 630 631 " , " , , " , 632 ! ! 633 ! " 634 635 . , 636 , , , 637 - , ; 638 , . 639 - - ? 640 - - ; , 641 , 642 . ; ; 643 . , 644 ; , 645 , - . 646 647 , 648 , , , 649 . 650 651 , 652 , , 653 , , 654 ; - - 655 . 656 ; 657 , ; , , 658 , , , 659 , , , 660 , 661 . 662 663 " ! ! " . 664 665 . 666 667 " , " 668 - - 669 670 " . " 671 672 " ! " . 673 674 , - , 675 , , 676 . 677 678 " ? " . 679 680 " , , " . 681 682 - - , 683 . , . 684 , ; . 685 686 " ? " . 687 . . 688 689 " , ! " 690 691 ; 692 - - - , , 693 , 694 - - , , 695 , - - 696 697 " ! ? " 698 699 " , " . 700 701 " ? " , 702 ; , 703 , 704 . 705 706 " , " , " ; 707 ! " . 708 . , 709 , , . 710 711 " , ! " , . 712 713 " ? " . " 714 ? " 715 716 ; 717 . 718 719 , , , 720 , . 721 , , 722 . 723 . - - - - - - ! 724 - - , 725 . , , 726 . 727 728 " ? " . 729 730 , 731 , , - - 732 733 " . " 734 735 " ! , ! " 736 737 ; . , 738 , , , 739 . 740 741 " ! " 742 743 " , , , ! " 744 745 . 746 ; . 747 - 748 . 749 . ? 750 751 , , . , 752 , . 753 , ; 754 , , 755 . , , 756 , 757 , , , 758 . ; . 759 - - 760 761 " ! " 762 763 " ? " 764 765 " , ! . ; 766 . " 767 768 . 769 , , , 770 , . 771 ; , 772 , . , , 773 ! , , 774 - , 775 , . , 776 777 , . 778 779 780 781 782 783 , " ? 784 ? " , 785 , - , . 786 , 787 . ; 788 . 789 790 , , - . 791 - . 792 . 793 , , 794 . 795 796 797 , 798 , . , 799 , . 800 . , 801 , , 802 . , , 803 , . 804 805 , , 806 . 807 808 " ! ! " , . 809 810 " , , . . " 811 812 , , 813 . 814 815 " ; ! " 816 817 " , " , " 818 . " 819 820 , 821 , . 822 823 , , 824 , , ; 825 ; 826 , . 827 828 " ! " , . " . " 829 830 - - 831 832 " ! " 833 834 " , " , " , 835 ? " 836 837 " , . " 838 839 " . " 840 841 " , . " 842 843 " ? " , , . " , ! 844 ! ! " 845 846 , , 847 , . 848 . 849 - - 850 851 " ? 852 . . . 853 . - - ! " 854 855 , , 856 . 857 , , - - 858 859 " , ! , , ! 860 . . ; 861 . , 862 ? . ! ; ! , 863 ! " 864 865 , , , 866 . 867 868 , 869 , 870 . ; 871 . 872 873 " , ! ? " 874 875 . 876 . , 877 , - - 878 879 " , ! . 880 . . . . ! " 881 . 882 883 " , , ! . " 884 885 " - - - - " , , 886 . 887 888 " , " , " 889 . . ; 890 . , ; 891 . - , , 892 . , , , 893 , . " 894 895 " ! " , , " . " 896 - - 897 898 " , . " 899 900 . , , , , 901 : 902 , , 903 . 904 905 . 906 907 " ! " . " 908 ! . . 909 . " 910 911 , . 912 913 , " " . 914 915 " ! , " . " - - . " 916 917 , 918 , " 919 . , " 920 , , " - 921 , " , " . , 922 ! - ! ; 923 . , , ; ; 924 . , , " , 925 , " , 926 . , , ! " 927 928 , 929 . 930 931 " ! . , 932 , , 933 , ! 934 - , ! , 935 , . ? 936 ? - - . - - ! 937 . 938 , 939 ! ; 940 , ! ! 941 , ? , ! ! 942 ! - - , , , - - 943 , , 944 , 945 ! " 946 947 " , " , 948 . 949 950 . , , 951 , 952 . - 953 ; 954 . , , , 955 . , 956 , , , , 957 . 958 959 , 960 , 961 . 962 , 963 . 964 , , , 965 . , , , 966 . ; , 967 , , , 968 969 , , . 970 , ; , 971 , . 972 973 , . 974 975 976 , , , 977 . 978 . 979 , , . ; 980 . 981 982 , , . 983 . , 984 , , - , 985 - , , , . 986 , , 987 , , 988 , , 989 . - 990 . 991 992 " ! ; . " 993 994 ; . . 995 996 " ! - - " 997 998 " ? " 999 1000